I recently watched a 26-year-old friend frantically Google “preventative Botox near me” while scheduling his third facial of the month. When I asked him why, his response hit like a gut punch: “I’m almost 27. That’s basically ancient in gay years.”
Ancient. At 27. Let that sink in.
Remember when 40 was supposedly “past your prime”? Well, apparently that arbitrary cutoff has been creeping earlier and earlier.
These days, it seems like you’re considered “expired” somewhere between your quarter-life crisis and your 30th birthday.
The Digital Disconnect
Dating apps haven’t helped. Twenty years ago, finding dates meant braving the bar scene or relying on friends of friends. But at least people had to, you know, actually see each other before making snap judgments.
Now? We’ve reduced ourselves to a series of numbers and photos. Age: block. Weight: block. Not enough abs in your profile pic? Block. It’s like we’re shopping for hookups the same way we order takeout – and nobody wants day-old leftovers.
But here’s what these snap judgments are costing us: wisdom, experience, stability, and often, much better conversations.
Now let’s talk about the absolutely bananas beauty standards we’ve created.
Twenty-somethings are getting preventative everything: Botox, fillers, laser treatments. They’re spending more on skincare than rent, all while being told they’re already too late to the game.
The gay beauty industry is basically gaslighting an entire generation into thinking they’re one birthday away from irrelevance. And we’re buying it – literally – to the tune of billions.
The Hidden Benefits of Dating Your Age (Or Older)
Here’s what nobody tells you about dating guys your own age or older: they often have their shit together.
They’ve built careers, developed interests beyond the latest TikTok trends, and actually know how to cook something besides avocado toast.
Older guys tend to be more comfortable in their own skin, more direct about what they want, and often better at communication.
They’ve had time to develop emotional intelligence, financial stability, and yes – bedroom skills that come from years of experience rather than watching online tutorials.
Speaking of age gaps, let’s address the pearl-clutching reaction to age-gap relationships. Take Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black – their 20-year age difference has sparked more controversy in gay communities than their Olympic-level diving routines.
The same community that preaches love is love seems awfully quick to judge when that love doesn’t fit into their narrowly defined age parameters. We’ve somehow gone from fighting society’s judgment to becoming the judges ourselves.
Then of course – this works both ways. If you’re over 40 and your app filter says “18-21 Only”, then you’re contributing to the same problem.
The Joy of Growing Up Gay
Here’s what gets lost in all this youth obsession: growing older as a gay man can be fantastic. You generally have more disposable income, more confidence, and zero f*cks left to give about what others think of you.
You’ve survived your awkward coming-out phase, figured out who you are, and hopefully built a chosen family of friends who love you regardless of your age or waist size.
Plus, let’s be honest – some of the hottest guys in our community are well past 40. Have you seen Ricky Martin, Anderson Cooper, or Andy Cohen lately? They’re like fine wine – getting better with age.
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Then again, no, you don’t need to look like Ricky Martin’s Instagram thirst traps to be attractive after 40. There’s something incredibly sexy about a man who’s comfortable in his own skin, whether that skin covers a six-pack or a dad bod.
Some of the most attractive older men I know have never seen the inside of a gym – they just carry themselves with the kind of confidence that only comes from life experience.
This isn’t just about dating preferences or beauty standards. It’s about mental health. It’s about community. It’s about the message we’re sending to young gay men that their value has an expiration date, and to older gay men that they’re somehow invisible.
Where Do We Go From Here?
Look, I get it. Attraction is attraction, and we all have our preferences. But when did we become so rigid, so dismissive, so afraid of connecting with someone who might have a few more (or fewer) years of life experience?
Maybe it’s time we logged off the apps for a minute and remembered what it was like to see people as, well, people. Not numbers, not stats, not carefully curated profile pics.
Because here’s the truth: every single one of us is aging. Right now. As you read this. And isn’t it time we celebrated that?
After all, in a community that’s survived plague, persecution, and years of bad fashion choices, getting older isn’t just inevitable – it’s a privilege.
Besides, think about it: those guys you consider “too old” now? That’s you in a few years. And trust me, you’re going to want people to see you for who you are, not just the number on your profile.